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This is a discussion on The Haunted house within the Stories forums, part of Arts & Literature category; The Haunted House Part - I(The Call) Joan quickly ran to her room and shut the door as fast as she could. She locked the door and turned to look ...

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Post The Haunted house, Posted January 12th, 2008, 01:57 PM #1 (permalink) |
The Haunted House



Part - I(The Call)


Joan quickly ran to her room and shut the door as fast as she could. She locked the door and turned to look for things which could be kept with it. But before she could get anything she heard the zombies knocking at the door. Joan quickly turned towards the door again. She became confused and began to shiver and walk backwards, and…. POWER FAILURE!!! The TV turned off.
My room became completely dark. I could hardly see anything. I got very annoyed because just when the movie was getting suspenseful, the electricity had gone. Then I got up from my bed, picked up my wrist watch and pressed the light button to see the time. It was quarter past one at night. I wasn’t feeling sleepy. It was very hot and humid, so I went to the balcony hoping to get some cool air.
I sat down on the plastic chair in the balcony. ‘This place is really nice’ I thought, looking at the lake just in front of the bungalow we were staying in for that night. Well, it was the first time I went to Kalihati. My parents liked to travel to different places in Bangladesh, which is why we were spending our summer vacation there.
The scenery of the lake made me forget about the movie. In front of the bungalow there was nothing except the lake and some trees. Beside the lake there was a house which was not fully constructed. It was not colored and there were no doors and windows fixed. The house seemed ghostly to me. I couldn’t see the house very clearly because the only source of light that time was the moon (there was a full moon that night). It was the only building close to our bungalow, the second closest building was about half a kilometer away.
I looked at the half built house and thought about it a bit, then turned to the lake again thinking that the house was the only thing in the place that was spoiling the beauty. I was looking at the part of the lake on which the moon-light had fallen. I had been staring at the place and thinking if I could roam around the lake by a boat at this time. All of a sudden, a crying sound of a baby distracted me from my thoughts. I heard the sound coming from the creepy looking house! I looked at the house and tried to see through the empty places on the walls where windows would have been fixed. But I couldn’t see anything due to the darkness. I grew curious to find out what could be inside the house, so I got up and decided to go there and find out.

Part - II(The realisation)

I got in my room again. I took my bag close to the moon-light, opened it and took out my torch. I switched it on to check the batteries, but its light faded just after that. So I left the torch and went out of the room. Mom and dad’s room was just beside mine. After I got out I kept careful not to wake my parents up, no matter what.
I managed to get out without any difficulty. I thought that the guards would stop me from getting out of the main gate, but the coast was clear, so I get out easily.
Then I was in front of the house. The sound of crying could still be heard. I stood at the place for a moment, I was a bit frightened thinking if I should really go in… when suddenly someone held my left shoulder from the back! My heart began to beat faster. The person holding my shoulder spoke out ‘What are you doing outside at this time? It is half past one!’
I finally looked back, I saw a stout man with long grey beard. I asked him ‘Who are you?’ He pointed his finger to the bungalow and said ‘I guard that bungalow at night. What are you doing here now?’
I told him that I was going to the house because I thought I heard a baby cry from there. ‘Someone must have left a baby inside there’ I said ‘I’m going inside to check.’ The man began to shiver after what I said. He told me that it was dangerous to go inside, he said that the building was haunted. I smiled, then I said ‘You are living in the twenty-first century; how can you still think ghosts exist? There is no logical explanation for their existence! Don’t worry about me, I’ll go in and come out safely.’
I turned to the house and started walking. The old man said with fear ‘NO! you shouldn’t go in! I’m warning you…! I ignored hi and went in.
Inside the house there was a horrible smell. I thought ‘Why couldn’t I smell this outside the house.’ The smell was like the smell of carrions of dead, rotten rats. I went further in and the cry got louder. It seemed as if the place had been abandoned for at least a decade. There was moss grown on the walls. I could see a 2 or 3 year old baby crying in the kitchen, it was the one that took me inside. The wooden floor creaked as I walked towards the kitchen. Except for the creaking and the crying, there was no other sound that I could hear.
I went inside the kitchen and tried to observe the baby carefully. It had stopped crying. I went closer to it and saw that it was fully white, as if it didn’t have any blood. I was about to pick it up when I heard strange voices saying ‘Pick me up, I’m dying… please pick me up..’ I knew that the baby couldn’t have said that, so I looked around to looked around to but couldn’t find out from where the voices were coming from. I looked down again and saw that the baby was not there! I got scared and ran straight out of the house as fast as I could.

Part - III(The curse)

The guard was waiting for me outside the house. He was very happy to see me. He could see the fear in my eyes. He said ‘I was waiting for you. If you didn’t return in a few more minutes, I would tell your parents that you were in danger.’ He paused and again started to speak ‘you look scared, I told you it wasn’t safe to go inside, do you believe me now?’ I hesitated but said ‘Yes’ at last.
I asked him if he knew anything about why the house is haunted. He took me to his room and offered me a seat. ‘The construction of the house began twenty five years ago, before this bungalow was made.’ He said ‘Some of the laborers didn’t have any place of themselves to live, so they lived in that house with their family.
‘One night the owner of the place went there to check things out. He saw that in the kitchen a man was sitting and talking to his wife; his wife had a baby on her lap. The owner got angry and told them “Do I pay you for staying in my house?” The man held the owner’s feet, begging him to let them say until the construction was over, as they had no other place to stay. The owner got furious and hit the man’s head hard with his walking-stick he was holding. Then he went to the man’s wife, snatched the baby from her lap and threw it away. After that he killed the woman by squeezing her neck. The man on whom the owner had hit with the stick, on his way to die, told the owner “I curse you! Neither you nor anyone else except us shall live here!” After that night the owner of the house was arrested and all the laborers left the place. Anyone who entered the house after that never came back.’
I listened to what he said very anxiously, and after he finished telling the story I asked him ‘how do you know so much about the place?’ Then he said that he was also a laborer there that time and saw the whole incident. After that the electricity was back. Then he said that ‘Ah… now I can go back to sleep… you should go to sleep too. Good night’
I wished him good night too and went back to my room. I turned off the TV and lied down on my bed. I started to think about the house and thought that I should I write a story about it someday…
Last edited by DarkMessiah; January 13th, 2008 at 08:47 PM..
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Default Posted January 13th, 2008, 08:34 PM #2 (permalink) |
that was very nicely written! i rly liked ur whole setting even though im more of a comedy person then horror but i was just wonderin is there any more parts..or is that all? (i kinda got hooked on it and was hopin for more? )
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Default Posted January 13th, 2008, 08:44 PM #3 (permalink) |
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that was very nicely written! i rly liked ur whole setting even though im more of a comedy person then horror but i was just wonderin is there any more parts..or is that all? (i kinda got hooked on it and was hopin for more? )
Im really glad that you liked it! thanks! I wrote this story in a story writing class once and got a C... well... this was the first story I ever completed lol.... and there are no more parts lol thats all
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Default Posted January 13th, 2008, 09:01 PM #4 (permalink) |
aww shucks!
a C??? really? mannn ur teacher must have been a hard grader....
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Default Posted January 15th, 2008, 12:08 AM #5 (permalink) |
WOW very well written indeed. Ayaz am so proud of you....at least u made it to C ami to story likhte janina...ami to mone likhte gele kono rokom sentence khuje petam na good work....want more...share with us
Some friends forget, Some move away
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Default Posted January 18th, 2008, 09:35 PM #6 (permalink) |
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WOW very well written indeed. Ayaz am so proud of you....at least u made it to C ami to story likhte janina...ami to mone likhte gele kono rokom sentence khuje petam na good work....want more...share with us

Thanks for reading the story and appreciating it mina apu.... lol amio story likhte parina.... this is actually the only story I completed... ami eita likhar duidin ager thika chinta bhabna kora shuru korsilam.... teacher ager thikai bolsilo bhuter golpo likhte hobe, tai prepare howar shomoy paisi.... eita je likhte parsi amaro thikmoto bishash hoyna... lol.... ami story likhte gele interesting kichu kolponai korte pari na... likha start korato durer kotha....
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Default Posted January 18th, 2008, 09:51 PM #7 (permalink) |
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Thanks for reading the story and appreciating it mina apu.... lol amio story likhte parina.... this is actually the only story I completed... ami eita likhar duidin ager thika chinta bhabna kora shuru korsilam.... teacher ager thikai bolsilo bhuter golpo likhte hobe, tai prepare howar shomoy paisi.... eita je likhte parsi amaro thikmoto bishash hoyna... lol.... ami story likhte gele interesting kichu kolponai korte pari... likha start korato durer kotha....

Ayaz, tumi to at least kolpona korte paro... ami story likhar kotha kolpona o korte parina....tobe ekbar jokhon likhte perecho obosshoi abar parba... so bring it on
Some friends forget, Some move away
Some keep silent, Some just change
But I’m not 1 of them, I’m here just 4 two moments
now & 4ever...
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Default Posted January 19th, 2008, 05:15 AM #8 (permalink) |
i want more more more...

dis is amazing.. i was really getting into it..

it finished to quick...

aro lekho...

da setting was awsome.. n i can see all da charcters..

i did want more description of da bungalow.. n joan in da bungalow a bit more longer.. maybe seeing more ghosts or smfin..

but its so good...
.

EvEr SiNcE yOu WaLkEd In2 mY lIfE, dReAmS eNvY mY rEaLTy..
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