porazoy

kijo · 11:20 PM

porajoy

sroter biporite sroshtar srishti sroshtar helay
mushtibodho, srishtir dhongsho-bhalobashar shunnotay.

abegi zotsnar ashore megher alpona aka

anmona sritir brishtite, akash vejano batashe
khoniker ugrota bukete lukiye,
hridoyhin shat ronga pashobik kolponar oloshota;

ashor sheshe megheder prosthan, kolponar bodhodoy
bhalobashar abege bondi shet shuvro ostomito zotsnar
nishashe proloy-zeno srishti sheshe oshimer porajoy.

CorE · February 12th, 2008, 10:50 PM

Hmm Not Bad.. I got few Questions for you tho.. Did you try to put some sort of accent (Ancholik taan) In your poem.. For example Porazoy should be Porajoy.. And 2nd Question is Do you think Your Poem is completed and meaningful in 3 verses? Nice creativity tho.. Thank you..

noble · February 12th, 2008, 11:11 PM

gaoya ar gayoker moddhe parthokko jano? gayok je anner jonner jonno gan kore ar gaoya je nijer jonno gan kore, ekhane bitorko kore anekei je ke bhalo shilpi? ami sheyi torke jabo na. Ami bolte chai tumi jodi gayok hoe kobita lekho tobe ami kisui bujhi nai, jodi gaoya hoe likho tobe tomer shrishti tomer anonder jonne.

Silent_debator · February 12th, 2008, 11:14 PM

very well written. good poetry!

kijo · February 12th, 2008, 11:17 PM

core bro....no ancholik tan...but banglay likhe scan kora uchit chilo...i will edit the porazoy word.....n ya i did complete it ...could make it bigger...but too many unnecessary words were floating around in my mind.....thank you for your interest and appreciation....

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