Phantom

Phantom
I have sat here turning words over in my head,
Trying to find the right words to express how I feel,
I am struggling to find words that run deep enough
For deep within the depths of me I love you,
I come alive with the sense of your touch
My eyes sparkle and shine when I see you
I am lost when you go away,
And found when you return.
You light my days and warm my nights,
The way you look at me, sigh….
I can not describe how that makes me feel,
Except perhaps to say it is my hearts desire
To see and feel the want in you.
I only have to see two people kiss,
Anywhere in the world at any time or moment
And instantly I want you kissing me,
Tasting me with those lips that reduce me
To this lovelorn person I am.
I ache for you deep inside me,
I lay awake….
Wanting your skin touching mine.
Needing you
Craving you,
Loving you so.
If only you knew how I felt,
What your presence does to me….
It stirs me up, fires me up,
And wrenches inside me when you go.
And still I cannot find the words,
To express how I want to express it,
But look at me…….
All the words you will see,
As I stand here loving you,
Endlessly.

nice poem again dosto. feel good to read. thanks

It's Soo Beautiful!! Thank You...

My deepest apology if my reply/comment makes u sad. But I hope u will not mind some constructive criticism.

About he poem. Poem is really nice. nice thoughts, nice length and imagination. but there r few things u should take care while writing it.

1- ur word selection. I, Me, My, You – u over used these words in the poem. u used it so much that its too visual for the reader. try to reduce usage of same words too many times. it helps the reader and it makes the poem more attractive.
2- Concentrate on ur structure. Poem is an art. Believe me structure has a huge effect on poems. Just a little more time with it and it can be great looking.
3- try not to write so much on 1 theme. i read alot of ur poems. most of it are about love, losing love, how much u r in love. there r so many different themes to write about. open ur mind to them and let the race begin. trust me it will be fun after u start trying.

please do not take this comment personally. I just believe if u focus on these then u can manage to come up with something stunning.

take care.

Alice - u ave expressed da thoughts of many pple.. ..

good advice - novemberRain