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This is a discussion on Sardar Ji within the Jokes & Funs forums, part of General Discussion category; I will post sardar collections here... Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ? Art dealer: I beg your pardon ...

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Default Sardar Ji, Posted May 20th, 2008, 08:46 PM #1 (permalink) |
I will post sardar collections here...



Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!


~~~~~~~~~

Question: What is the full form of math's.

Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students


~~~~~~~~~

Teacher : Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No mam I will not be able to attend it.

Teacher : Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!


~~~~~~~~~

Teacher to Student : Make a sentence in which one word is repeated Two times.

Student : If Lara Datta marries Brian Lara she become Lara Lara
.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2007 ka faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.

Baji: abhi khananahi bana, baad main aana.

Faqir: mera number Le lo, jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.


~~~~~~~~~

Doctor to lady: kiya aap dilevery k waqat bache k baap ko apne pass dekhna chati hain?

Lady: nahi un ko mere husband pasand nahi karte.


~~~~~~~~~

Man to hotel manager: jaldi chalo, meri wife khirki se kodh kar jaan dena chati hai.

Manager: so .. Sir what can I do?

Man: abey khirki nahi khul rahi.


~~~~~~~~~

Sardar dukhi tha

Kisi NE pocha kyon tension main ho?

Sardar: yaar ek dost ko plastic surgry k liye 3 lakh diye tahe AB main us ko pehchan nahi pa raha hoon
.


~~~~~~~~~

তাই রিমঝীম সে কেঁদে চলে, আপন সুরে আপন তালে

সেই বৃষ্টি আজ কাঁদায় আমাকে, জাগিয়ে তুলে সে স্মৃতিটাকে
কোনো একদিন তুমি কেঁদেছিলে, এই আমার দুটি হাত ধরে
বলেছিলে কভু দূরে না হাড়াতে, অথচ কখন যেন
নিজে হারালে আমায় একা ফেলে, তাই কেঁদে চলে বৃষ্টি আপন সুরে,
আপন তালে, আপন সুরে...

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Default Posted May 20th, 2008, 08:48 PM #2 (permalink) |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






Patient: mujhe problem hai. Na khaon to bhok lagti hai, na sou to neend aati hai, zada kam kar k thak jata hoon.

Doctor : sari raat dhoop main betho theek ho jao gaye.


~~~~~~~~~

Wife: main tang AA AI tusi hamesha mera ghar, meri car, mera beta, mera mera he karde ho. Kade sada v keha karo, Hun almari vitchon ki lab rahe ho?

Sardar: sada Kachha


~~~~~~~~~

Sardar ji was buying ticket on every station.

Friend: why don't u buy 1 ticket for the whole trip?

Sardar ji: my doctor told me not to take long trips.


~~~~~~~~~

Sardar: tere result DA ki banya?

Pappu: madam kendi is class vich 1 saal hor lagana hai.

Sardar: phir theek hai, saal chahe 2,3 hor lag jayn, bas fail na hona
.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doctor patient k peche bhag raha tha.

Ek admi NE pocha kya hua?

Doctor: 4 baar aisa he hua hai sala brain ka opreation karwane aata hai aur baal katwa k chala jata hai.


~~~~~~~~~

Ek sardar roz apne kitchen main jata, sugar box kholta aur band kar deta,

Why?

Because Dr. NE Jo kaha tha k apni sugar roz check karna.


~~~~~~~~~

Sardar: yar kal main bathroom gaya to wahan sher tha,

2nd sardar: hain phir tum NE kya kiya?

1st: kuch nahi main NE sher se kaha aap kar lo meri to nikal gai hai.


~~~~~~~~~

Pathan girl friend ko ghar Le gaya,

Sab darwaze khirkiyan band kardin,

Parde gira diye light off kar k us k pass aya aur kaha : dekho humara watch main light jalta hai
.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Son: kal daddy ke office room se PRAYER karne ki awaaz AA rahi thi

Mom: pray karna to achhi baat hai

Son: daddy to chup they, unki secreatry chilla rahi thi "Oh God Oh God"


~~~~~~~~~

MANGO ka juice, CHIKU ka juice, ORANGE ka juice, TETI ka juice,

APPLE ka juice, PINEPLE ka juice, PAPITA ka juice,

GRAP ka juice...

Jo MSG na kare vo KANJUS..!


~~~~~~~~~

Lady 2 Dr.:mera beta motor cycle se gir gaya.
Dr:I don't know Hindi talk in englsh.

Sir,I no speak eng.
Dr.Try pls.

Lady:My londa gironda from hero Honda....


~~~~~~~~~

Unki ek ankh itni khubsorat thi! Wah Wah!

Unki ek ankh itni khubsorat thi! Wahwah!

Ki unki doosri aankh bhi useeko dekh rahi thi
!!


~~~~~~~~~




Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono NE kapde tyag diye,
Ek NE desh ke liye,
Doosre NE Deshwasion ke liye!

~~~~~~~~~

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,

Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai

~~~~~~~~~

Teacher asked the back bencher,"Mere haath mein kya hai?"
Student ,"Kitab hai sir."
Teacher,"Jor se bolo!"
Bola ,"JAI MATA DI"

~~~~~~~~~

তাই রিমঝীম সে কেঁদে চলে, আপন সুরে আপন তালে

সেই বৃষ্টি আজ কাঁদায় আমাকে, জাগিয়ে তুলে সে স্মৃতিটাকে
কোনো একদিন তুমি কেঁদেছিলে, এই আমার দুটি হাত ধরে
বলেছিলে কভু দূরে না হাড়াতে, অথচ কখন যেন
নিজে হারালে আমায় একা ফেলে, তাই কেঁদে চলে বৃষ্টি আপন সুরে,
আপন তালে, আপন সুরে...

Last edited by mina; May 20th, 2008 at 08:51 PM.
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Default Posted May 21st, 2008, 02:34 PM #3 (permalink) |
So far so good.
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mina (May 21st, 2008)
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mina
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Default Posted May 23rd, 2008, 11:44 PM #4 (permalink) |
CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.

CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.

CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.


~~~~~~~~~

CIRCUIT : Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera Sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.

MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT : Nahin Bhai, who apnay chain pechan lega.


~~~~~~~~~

Munna bhai Style GD Night

Ab itni night ko apun tere ko
Kisi film ki kahani sunane
K liye MSG to karega nahin.
Common sense ki baat hai k
Tere ko GUD Night bolney ka hai!

Chal ludak Le..


~~~~~~~~~

EXam's song by Munna bhai:

"Chanda Mama so Gaye,
Student sarey jage.
Dekho pakdo yaron,
Ghadi ke kaante bhaage.
Ek pariksha khatam,to duji
Shuru ho gayi MAAMU
.




তাই রিমঝীম সে কেঁদে চলে, আপন সুরে আপন তালে

সেই বৃষ্টি আজ কাঁদায় আমাকে, জাগিয়ে তুলে সে স্মৃতিটাকে
কোনো একদিন তুমি কেঁদেছিলে, এই আমার দুটি হাত ধরে
বলেছিলে কভু দূরে না হাড়াতে, অথচ কখন যেন
নিজে হারালে আমায় একা ফেলে, তাই কেঁদে চলে বৃষ্টি আপন সুরে,
আপন তালে, আপন সুরে...

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Default Posted May 29th, 2008, 09:39 AM #5 (permalink) |
Thank u Thank u Thank u
Thank u Thank u Thank u
Thank u Thank u Thank u
Thank u Thank u Thank u
Thank u Thank u Thank u
Thank u Thank u Thank u
Thank u Thank u Thank u
Thank u Thank u Thank u
Thank u Thank u Thank u
Thank u Thank u Thank u

I love Sardar Jokes!!! now i don have to google them!! thanksssssssss!!!
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Default Posted June 1st, 2008, 03:53 PM #6 (permalink) |
Nice Jokes.. Sardarjee jokes are my all time fav. jara haaslene dooo....
~*~ Never Love Stranger ~*~
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Default Posted June 11th, 2008, 01:55 AM #7 (permalink) |
Girl : Bus bhi karo AB!
Boy : Kuch bhi nahi hota!
Girl : kisi NE dekh liya to?
Boy : kuch nahi hoga bus sedhi raho aur thora khol kar rakho!
Girl : bus bohat hogaya AB mein thumain nahi karne dongi
Boy : please thora as aur karne do!
Agar aaj paper na kar saka to mein fail ho jaonga


~~~~~~~~~

Sardar to Girlfriend: Darling main tum se shaadi nahi kar sakta gharwale mana karrahe hai.
Girlfriend: Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai.
Sardar: 1 biwi aur 3 bacche


~~~~~~~~~

Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kiya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k pass ja k Beth jata hoon
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: to AC on kar leta hoon


~~~~~~~~~

Beta: Daddy meri dur ki nazar kamzor ho gae hai mujhe ek chashma la do.
Kanjos baap bete ko bahar Le kar aya aur bola who kya hai Bata.

Beta: Suraj
Baap: aur kitna dur dhaikhe Ga
?




তাই রিমঝীম সে কেঁদে চলে, আপন সুরে আপন তালে

সেই বৃষ্টি আজ কাঁদায় আমাকে, জাগিয়ে তুলে সে স্মৃতিটাকে
কোনো একদিন তুমি কেঁদেছিলে, এই আমার দুটি হাত ধরে
বলেছিলে কভু দূরে না হাড়াতে, অথচ কখন যেন
নিজে হারালে আমায় একা ফেলে, তাই কেঁদে চলে বৃষ্টি আপন সুরে,
আপন তালে, আপন সুরে...

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mina's Avatar
mina
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Posts/Threads: 8,055/617
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mina has a reputation beyond reputemina has a reputation beyond reputemina has a reputation beyond reputemina has a reputation beyond reputemina has a reputation beyond reputemina has a reputation beyond reputemina has a reputation beyond reputemina has a reputation beyond reputemina has a reputation beyond reputemina has a reputation beyond reputemina has a reputation beyond repute
Default Posted June 11th, 2008, 02:15 AM #8 (permalink) |
Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. .


~~~~~~~~~

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' .

He replaced friend with father in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,

SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.


~~~~~~~~~

A sardar on an interview 4 DA post detective.

Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?

Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. ......


~~~~~~~~~

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.

Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.

Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760
!!!....


~~~~~~~~~

তাই রিমঝীম সে কেঁদে চলে, আপন সুরে আপন তালে

সেই বৃষ্টি আজ কাঁদায় আমাকে, জাগিয়ে তুলে সে স্মৃতিটাকে
কোনো একদিন তুমি কেঁদেছিলে, এই আমার দুটি হাত ধরে
বলেছিলে কভু দূরে না হাড়াতে, অথচ কখন যেন
নিজে হারালে আমায় একা ফেলে, তাই কেঁদে চলে বৃষ্টি আপন সুরে,
আপন তালে, আপন সুরে...

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