| This is a discussion on Jalal's Jokes within the Jokes & Funs forums, part of General Discussion category; hahahah.. the woman is clever and well.. bad. loll..... |
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| hahahah.. the woman is clever and well.. bad. loll.. Learning To Breathe | |||||||||||||||||||
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| The Following User Says Thank You to afsana911 For This Useful Post: | ||
jalalahmed (March 13th, 2008) | ||
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*Dear Wife:* *I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good **man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.* *Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.* *Your EX-Husband* *P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!* *Dear Ex-Husband -* *Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. * *About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. **So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.* *I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.* *Signed,* *Your Ex-Wife, **Rich as Hell and Free!* *P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. * *I hope that's not a problem.* | |||||||||||||||||||
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| hahahaaa... the wife is soo smart! i dont even feel sorry for the Ex-husband! Learning To Breathe | |||||||||||||||||||
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| The Following User Says Thank You to afsana911 For This Useful Post: | ||
jalalahmed (March 14th, 2008) | ||
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| Thx Afsana. Yeah, the cheater hubby got what he deserves!!!  | |||||||||||||||||||
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| Class hoise jalal bhai, din din improve kortesen  | |||||||||||||||||||
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| The Following User Says Thank You to noble For This Useful Post: | ||
jalalahmed (March 14th, 2008) | ||
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| Tai? Khub bhalo lagchhe bhaiya apnar kotha shune. Bhalo theken. | |||||||||||||||||||
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| LoL..love the last one  ..!!...way to go girl!!....hehe.!!Hey jalalahmed, do u mind if i change the title to "Jalalahmed's Jokes"...and make it sticky?...coz we are really liking your jokes!! keep them coming!!!  Pяιη¢єѕѕ Pяσνα | |||||||||||||||||
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TOTW/F/M Award(s): 1| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Prova For This Useful Post: | ||
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| As promised, here is an Aussie stuff… The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the Website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK) A: You must be a British politician, right? Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I Forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France) A: No, WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female Population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay night-clubs. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: Only at Christmas. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Q Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first. Thanks Prova Please feel free to do it. Just make it "Jalal's" - that's my name, instead of "Jalalahmed's". Cheers. | |||||||||||||||||||
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| yikeess!! lol ore bhaiaa hashte hashte sesh ami... prova that's wat i was thinkin...lol তাই রিমঝীম সে কেঁদে চলে, আপন সুরে আপন তালে সেই বৃষ্টি আজ কাঁদায় আমাকে, জাগিয়ে তুলে সে স্মৃতিটাকে কোনো একদিন তুমি কেঁদেছিলে, এই আমার দুটি হাত ধরে বলেছিলে কভু দূরে না হাড়াতে, অথচ কখন যেন নিজে হারালে আমায় একা ফেলে, তাই কেঁদে চলে বৃষ্টি আপন সুরে, আপন তালে, আপন সুরে... | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| The Following User Says Thank You to mina For This Useful Post: | ||
jalalahmed (March 18th, 2008) | ||
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