A collection

Global Communication

Confucious once say:
There are 4 major forms of communication:

Telephone, Television, Internet, and telling a Woman.






Bad Memory

A couple in their 80's were having problems remembering things, so they decided to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen for a drink," he replies. She asks, " Will you get me piece of cake?" The husband says, "Sure." She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you don't forget it?" He says, "No, I can certainly remember that!"

Then the woman says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write it down because I know you'll forget it." The man replies, "I can remember that! You want some cake with strawberries."

She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream on top. Now I'm certain you're gonna forget that, so you'd better write it down ok." Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down woman! I can
remember that! Cakewith strawberries! And whipped cream!" He then grumbles into the kitchen.

After about 30 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"


Deathbead Confessions

Suzie was standing over her husbands deathbed, andas she held his hand her warm tears ran down her cheeks and splashed onto her sleeping husbands face. Her tears awakened him.

"My darling Suzie " he began. "Hush my love" she said. "Ssssh..., go back to sleep dear "

But he was insistent."Suzie" he said in his frail, tired voice. "I must talk, I must confess something to you" "Theres nothing to confess" said the weeping Suzie "It's ok. Everythings ok. Get some rest now. "

"No no, I must die in peace my Suzie. I slept with your sister, your best friend and your mother." The heartbroken Suzie mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. " hush
now Jimmy, dont torment yourself. I know all about it" she said. "Why do you think I poisoned you?"









Survivor, Texas Style

A major network is planning the show "Survivor 4 " this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Al Gore, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."
The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.



Moonshining

A redneck was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client.
"Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury box and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?"

what you wrote is too complex! but perhaps true

this are jokes why u think this will be true and complex ?????? i dont get it are u too joking man?????

i am posting a joke over here pls read it.
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He replied, "Sure."

She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that."

He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily:

"I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"

Apa Same joke to nichei chilo abar post korlen j??????