18+ Only

you know what you have to do...if you not 18+ please leave this thread now.

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."













And you probably thought this would be dirty ... shame on YOU!!!

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This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little
man. The tiny man sits down and starts to play the piano. This other guy
notices it.

“ Hey, what’s that?”

“A twelve-inch pianist. Yaw see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made awish, I got a twelve inch pianist.”

“Can I try?” The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room.

“Ducks? I didn’t wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!”

“You think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?”

Good joke mina, carry on. Out of control hoio na 18+ jebhabe lekhso ami bhabsi Mina moni out of control hoia gese. lol

Thats it? Aro hot dorkar to. Minaaaa? Koi koi? Koro koro, post koroooooooooo?

eto boro dhoka??!!! ........................is it called 18+??????
manina manbona.............change the title......write it 6+

Botsho dhonrjo dhorooo...koi sobure naki mewa fole...hihihi

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Special Sauce


A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads hamburger: $1; cheeseburger: $2; hand job: $10. He beckons to an attractive blonde behind the counter.


“Can I help you?” she asks with a knowing smile.


“I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”


“Yes,” she purrs. “I am.”


“Well, wash your hands,” he says. “I want a cheeseburger.”

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Surely will offend someone


A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did.

He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no.

The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified.

She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"

The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"

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Truth

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."

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rofl this is hillarious...


Erectile Dysfunction

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor. The witch doctor throws some herbs on a fire, shakes his rattle, does his chants and says, “I have placed a most powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. Just say ‘one, two, three’ and you’ll get the largest erection you’ve ever had. After your wife’s been fully satisfied, all she has to do is simply say is ‘one, two, three’ and it will disappear for 12 months.”

Later that night as the man is lying in bed watching television and he starts stroking his small limp penis, he says to his wife, “Hey babe watch this! One, two, three!” His cock slowly comes to life and starts to grow, it become rigid and eventually becomes larger and stiffer than ever before. It is enormous, well defined and ready to go.

His wife is amazed. She smiles and says, “That’s really impressive honey! But why did you say ‘one, two, three’ for?”

Ok the last one for the day...............

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A Cajun walks into a bar with
A pet alligator by his side.
He puts the alligator up on the bar.
He turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my manhood inside.
Then the gator will close his
Mouth for one minute.
"Then he'll open his mouth
And I'll remove my unit unscathed.
In return for witnessing this
Spectacle,
Each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar,
Dropped his trousers,
And placed his Johnson and related parts in the alligator's open mouth.
The gator closed his mouth
As the crowd gasped.
After a minute,
The man grabbed a beer
bottle and smacked the
Alligator hard on the top of
its head.
The gator opened his mouth
And the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered,
And the first of his free
Drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A Blonde woman timidly
Spoke up..........
"I'll try it -
Just don't hit me so hard
with the beer bottle!"

ore baba!!!!!!!!!!!..... ebar kintu voy paisi!!!!!!!!!!
nice jokes........

Uhhu uhhu!!!, yam yam kharap na.

Semi-Clean Jokes

Sea Biscuit

A distraught young woman decides to throw herself into the ocean.

Down at the docks, a handsome young sailor notices her tears, takes pity on her, and says, "Hey, you’ve got a lot to live for. All you need is a new start. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slips his arm around her shoulders and adds, "I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy." She agrees, and the sailor brings her aboard that night and hides her in a lifeboat. Every night he brings her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit and they make passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine search, she is discovered by the ship’s captain.
"What are you doing here?" the captain asks.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explains. "He’s taking me to Europe, and he’s screwing me."
"He sure is, lady," says the captain. "This is the Staten Island ferry."

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Diet Service

A heavyset guy sees an ad that reads "Lose weight. Only $10 a pound. Call (202) 555-0238" and decides to make the call. The operator asks, "How much weight do you want to lose?"
"Ten pounds," he replies.
"We’ll have a representative over in the morning," says the operator.
About 9 a.m., there’s a knock on the door. There stands a fairly good-looking girl, completely naked except for a sign around her neck reading “If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me.”
The hefty fellow chases her upstairs, downstairs, and all around the house. Finally, panting and wheezing, he catches her. After they have sex, he runs to the bathroom and weighs himself. He’s lost 10 pounds!


That night he calls the number again and says, "I want to lose 20 pounds."
"We’ll send someone over."
The next morning, he’s greeted by a gorgeous girl dressed only in track shoes and wearing a sign around her neck that reads “If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me.” The chase takes a good while longer this time, but later he finds he’s lost 20 pounds!


That night he calls and says, "I want to lose 50 pounds!"
"Fifty pounds?" the operator asks. "That’s an awful lot."
The man replies, "Listen, just take care of it!"
About 7 a.m. the man hears a knock and opens the door. Outside stands an enormous gorilla with a sign around its neck that reads “If I catch you…”


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Splinters

Pinocchio and his girlfriend are in bed, doing what wooden puppets do, when she suddenly sighs. He asks her why, and she replies, "You’re probably the best lover I’ve ever had, but every time we make love you give me splinters."


This remark bothers Pinocchio a great deal, so the next day he seeks advice from Gepetto, who suggests a bit of sandpaper might "smooth out" Pinnochio’s relationship with his girlfriend. Pinocchio graciously thanks his creator and goes on his way.


A couple of weeks later, Gepetto runs into Pinocchio at the hardware store, where his little wooden friend is buying every package of sandpaper the store has in stock.


"So, Pinocchio," Gepetto remarks, "things must be going pretty damn good with the girls, eh?"
"Girls?" says Pinocchio, "Who needs girls?"

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Stuffed Animals

Gwen met Randy at a nightclub. They hit it off, so she invited him back to her place. When they arrived at her house, they went right for the bedroom.

Randy noticed hundreds of stuffed animals scattered throughout the room.
Giant stuffed animals sat on top of the wardrobe.
Slightly smaller stuffed animals sat on the window sill. Many tiny stuffed animals sat on the bottom shelf of her bookcase.

After they had sex, Randy turned to her and said, "So ... how was I?" "Well," Gwen said, "you can take anything from the bottom shelf."

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True Story from Houston Medical Center

A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis.

According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the ring
in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to
slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.

I don't know what's worse:

1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

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Sexy therapy with Food :

Well this couple certainly have a compatibility problems

Two women had been having a friendly lunch when the subject turned to sex.

"You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems" Linda told her friend.

That's amazing!" Mary replied, "So have Tom and I. We're thinking of going to a sex therapist" said Linda.

"Oh, we could never do that! We'd be too embarrassed!" responded Mary. "But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?"

Several weeks passed and they met for lunch again. "So, how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?"

"Things couldn't be better!", Linda exclaimed. "We began with a physical exam, and afterward the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude, and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every grape that went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it's better than it's ever been!"

With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist. After the physical exams were completed the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office. "I'm afraid there is nothing I can do for you," he said.

But doctor," Mary complained, "You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please,

can't you give us some help? Any help at all?"

"Well, OK," the doctor answered "On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios..."